Last week a young woman wrote to me asking about her lack of orgasms with intercourse and wanted to know if female-centered sex could offer her the opportunity to find her sexual fulfillment absent from male-centered sex. She wanted and needed her orgasms. Her letter was so powerful that I decided to answer her and give her the possibilities by explaining a woman’s orgasmic potential. If you’re interested, you can find the statistics here.
I want to take this opportunity to thank the many thousands of girls and women who have, over the past half-century, graciously given of themselves to expand our knowledge of women’s true sexuality. Without their voices, we’d still be in the Victorian era.
This is my last blog, (unless someone has specific questions), for we have come to the time where we can no longer afford to keep this website open, as we have supported this effort entirely from our personal savings and our finances have finally zeroed out. The lights are dim and we plan to close our efforts in early May.
Much has been written about the Steubenville rape of a helpless, incapacitated young girl, but my wife asked me to voice what I felt about it as a man. In my opinion, this case speaks directly to what is wrong with our male-dominated society—a culture of privilege for boys and men; a culture of presumed sexual entitlement to a girl’s body; a culture dominated by violent masculinity and wholesale misogyny; and a culture in which boys think, when the opportunity presents, that it’s OK to take a girl. The Steubenville rapists certainly thought so.
That these boys were rightfully convicted and sentenced may send a message to others who think that is acceptable to violate girls and get away with it; but, I seriously doubt it. Yes, it may curtail violent acts against girls and women in Steubenville, and maybe in the surrounding communities, depending on the extent of the future prosecution of those who were complicit in the incident, such as those who knew about it, but failed to report it; and those who contributed to the sale to and consumption of alcohol by minors; but, until the inherent misogynistic culture is changed, not much will be different.
To me, the root of the evil plant of misogyny begins in the home. When boys see their fathers (or any other man) disrespect their mothers (or any other woman), by look, words, and/or action, they learn women are objects not worthy of respect. When mothers (and any woman) allow this, without strong objection, they verify their sons’ perception—it’s OK to disrespect and mistreat women. And, as long as this culture exists, we will always have the Steubenville’s. Not until wives, husbands, clergy, government, and all citizens acknowledge the right of all women to the respect they deserve as human beings, will we see the disappearance of the malignant culture of male-supremacy.
What do you think? Can we ever reclaim an egalitarian society absent of abuse and violence against girls and women? I believe so, and I will continue to do all I can to achieve it.
Very few straight women, and fewer men, understand female-centered sex. They’re simply unaware of what it is and how to use it. They’re oblivious to the powers it contains and the ecstasy it brings. They’ve never experienced the physical, mental, and emotional satiation the way Nature intended. The repression our culture exerts on girls and women blinds them to their ultimate sexual expression. If you have embraced female-centered sex, like I have, and learned of its rapture, tell us how it feels and what it has brought to your life.
The major reason women cite as to why they haven’t made the switch to female-centered sex is that they didn’t know it existed. Our culture does a miraculous job in convincing women that the only real form of sex is intercourse, male-centered; and, mature women should enthusiastically embrace it. You know; the vaginal orgasm nonsense. In society’s eyes, all other forms of sex are immature and inconsequential. So, despite women’s lack of gratification with intercourse, they soldier on; it’s the only way they know.
Nevertheless, the women we talk with have the intuitive feeling there must be more to sex than they’re experiencing. But, they don’t have the answer. They can’t tell their partners what they need to feel fulfilled, what is missing from their sexual relationship, because they don’t know themselves. Oh, they do experiment, with their spouses, and with lovers, always looking for that feeling of sexual satiation and fulfillment; but, they never find it, because they play the same game, just with different partners. There’s always that barrier of penetrative sex that keeps them trapped.
Is that the way you feel, or are you completely satisfied with sex as society scripts, not knowing or wanting to know the alternative?
When women make the paradigm shift to female-centered sex from male-centered sex, nine out of ten are adamant in their determination not to revert back. They want their continued physical and emotional sexual satiation and not the faux sexual satisfaction they willed themselves with intercourse. They want the extraordinary sexual adventures and phenomenal health benefits extended cunnilingus allows. Why then, don’t all women make the shift? What is it that stands in the way of their supreme sexual expression? If you haven’t made the shift, why haven’t you? Tell us in the comment section below. Next week, I’ll reveal what women have had to say.
Two weeks ago, I asked if there were any women who were aware of and understood their orgasmic potential. Only one woman found the invitation to share her experiences and beliefs worthwhile. To her, I extend my deep appreciation.
Today, I want to expand our conversation. When women fail to comprehend their orgasmic potential they tend to say they are dissatisfied, disenchanted, distrustful, despondent, depressed, frustrated, bitter, resentful, and unhappy with their lives. This genuine disappointment in themselves, and their partners, extends to all ages and in all relationships—single, cohabiting, married, divorced, widowed, straight, bi, and lesbian. It borders on being a sexual epidemic, eventually affecting two out of three women.
In my opinion, no woman should willingly suffer this pain and anxiety; especially when they have the power to change it to their benefit. If you’ve been there, if you’re one of the two, what did you do to change it? Or, have you changed it?
The physical, mental, and emotional benefits of making the paradigm shift from male-centered sex, with intercourse as its center piece, to female-centered sex, with extended cunnilingus as the primary focus are monumental, not only for women, but also for men. The extraordinary improvement in the relationship is almost beyond belief. But, how does a woman make the shift? How does she convince her partner that the copulatory mandate is not for them?
Finally, a book that takes you through the process, step by step, is available. If you’re interested, here’s the link. It’s fantastic. Enjoy, write a review, and post your comments here, pro or con. Let’s get this dialogue going.
If you’re a woman who is dissatisfied with your sex life, you’re not alone. Seventy-five percent of women think male-centered sex (intercourse) leaves much to be desired, and many feel used. They tell me they’re tired of being treated as a sperm depository, and being left feeling empty and unfulfilled. They know something is wrong, but they don’t know what, so many of them go looking elsewhere for their sexual satisfaction. Society leaves them little choice.
The problem is, of course, multifaceted; but, the main reason for our sexual discontentment is our lack of knowledge of our natural sexuality. Most women have no idea that their sex drive is a powerful instinctual drive, not for reproduction as society would have them believe, but for orgasm. We’re highly sexual beings, driven unconsciously by the urge to be physically and emotional sexually satiated; yet, society makes us ashamed, and we feel guilty, if we attempt to answer that natural instinct.
Our orgasms are the essence of our sexuality; yet most women have no concept of their orgasmic potential. They have no idea of their orgasmic capabilities, or what their orgasms can bring to them and their partners and their relationships. Do you?
Are your orgasms a natural part of you? Do you feel they bring you complete physical and emotional satiation? Are you aware of their benefits? Won’t you take a minute and tell others what you feel? Knowledge is indeed power; so write a comment, and share your knowledge to help others understand.
When my wife asked me to write a guest blog for her site, I wondered what she had in mind, and when she said she wanted me to write on my concept of “my,” I quickly accepted the challenge, because I don’t believe in “my.” Let me elaborate.
“My” is a possessive pronoun, and in my opinion, has no place in a healthy relationship. But, didn’t I just open this blog with reference to “my” wife? For the past 57 years, we have lived together, had children together, and forged our lives together as a legally married couple. In the eyes of society she is “my” wife. Therein lays a major problem, as most husbands and male partners I’ve known over the past half-century have had this view—“she is mine.” It took me decades to learn differently.
In no sense of the word, is she mine; I do not possess her. I have no rightful claim on her. She is not like my car, or my clothes, or my tools. I do not own or control her. I cannot tell her what to do or not to do, these are her decisions. We are together because she chooses to be, and not because some piece of paper tells her to be. She is a companion (wife) by her own free-will; but, she has not surrendered her independence, or her individuality, to be “my” wife. She remains autonomous, free to live her life as she sees fit. Should not all wives have the same option?
I am supposed to close with some call to action, whatever that may be. All I can say is our English language leaves me no opportunity to use another word for “my” wife. Perhaps you have one we can incorporate when we speak of our loving companion.