Last week a young woman wrote to me asking about her lack of orgasms with intercourse and wanted to know if female-centered sex could offer her the opportunity to find her sexual fulfillment absent from male-centered sex. She wanted and needed her orgasms. Her letter was so powerful that I decided to answer her and give her the possibilities by explaining a woman’s orgasmic potential. If you’re interested, you can find the statistics here.
The major reason women cite as to why they haven’t made the switch to female-centered sex is that they didn’t know it existed. Our culture does a miraculous job in convincing women that the only real form of sex is intercourse, male-centered; and, mature women should enthusiastically embrace it. You know; the vaginal orgasm nonsense. In society’s eyes, all other forms of sex are immature and inconsequential. So, despite women’s lack of gratification with intercourse, they soldier on; it’s the only way they know.
Nevertheless, the women we talk with have the intuitive feeling there must be more to sex than they’re experiencing. But, they don’t have the answer. They can’t tell their partners what they need to feel fulfilled, what is missing from their sexual relationship, because they don’t know themselves. Oh, they do experiment, with their spouses, and with lovers, always looking for that feeling of sexual satiation and fulfillment; but, they never find it, because they play the same game, just with different partners. There’s always that barrier of penetrative sex that keeps them trapped.
Is that the way you feel, or are you completely satisfied with sex as society scripts, not knowing or wanting to know the alternative?
Two weeks ago, I asked if there were any women who were aware of and understood their orgasmic potential. Only one woman found the invitation to share her experiences and beliefs worthwhile. To her, I extend my deep appreciation.
Today, I want to expand our conversation. When women fail to comprehend their orgasmic potential they tend to say they are dissatisfied, disenchanted, distrustful, despondent, depressed, frustrated, bitter, resentful, and unhappy with their lives. This genuine disappointment in themselves, and their partners, extends to all ages and in all relationships—single, cohabiting, married, divorced, widowed, straight, bi, and lesbian. It borders on being a sexual epidemic, eventually affecting two out of three women.
In my opinion, no woman should willingly suffer this pain and anxiety; especially when they have the power to change it to their benefit. If you’ve been there, if you’re one of the two, what did you do to change it? Or, have you changed it?
If you’re a woman who is dissatisfied with your sex life, you’re not alone. Seventy-five percent of women think male-centered sex (intercourse) leaves much to be desired, and many feel used. They tell me they’re tired of being treated as a sperm depository, and being left feeling empty and unfulfilled. They know something is wrong, but they don’t know what, so many of them go looking elsewhere for their sexual satisfaction. Society leaves them little choice.
The problem is, of course, multifaceted; but, the main reason for our sexual discontentment is our lack of knowledge of our natural sexuality. Most women have no idea that their sex drive is a powerful instinctual drive, not for reproduction as society would have them believe, but for orgasm. We’re highly sexual beings, driven unconsciously by the urge to be physically and emotional sexually satiated; yet, society makes us ashamed, and we feel guilty, if we attempt to answer that natural instinct.
Our orgasms are the essence of our sexuality; yet most women have no concept of their orgasmic potential. They have no idea of their orgasmic capabilities, or what their orgasms can bring to them and their partners and their relationships. Do you?
Are your orgasms a natural part of you? Do you feel they bring you complete physical and emotional satiation? Are you aware of their benefits? Won’t you take a minute and tell others what you feel? Knowledge is indeed power; so write a comment, and share your knowledge to help others understand.
Roxanne posted a comment to my post last week that goes to the heart of our orgasm discussion. In case you missed it, here is what she had to say.
“A classic study of female orgasms lists eleven ‘types’ of orgasm in females listing everything from nipple to vaginal to clitoral all resultant of digital stimulation of some sort. How does ‘mental perception’ fit into this physical stimuli arousing us to the point of climax? Without the physical there is no orgasm or is it the perception of pleasure and stimulation mentally bringing us to orgasm? I’d love a more complete association/connection between the two. Thank You.”
The crux of what Roxanne found in her investigation is that our orgasms are the result of some form of digital stimulation, and that is precisely what seventy-six percent of women believe—without the physical there is no orgasm. On face, this seems both reasonable and logical. The only problem is that it’s not true. It’s yet another case of using the male response to determine the female. Men need physical stimulation to activate their ejaculation reflex, but our orgasms aren’t reflexive, they’re mental activations.
We use physical stimulation as a facilitator, not an activator. The sensations our brains receive from this stimulation need interpretation. We’ve all been there, in the valley of determination, where we take, for example, genital stimulation and assign the signals received in our brains as desirable, erotic, and potentially orgasmic, or as undesirable, unwanted, and non-impressive. We have the ability to take that genital stimulation and decide if we’ll activate our orgasm or shut it off. The brain wants emotional connection and doesn’t care where the physical stimulation originates, be it clitoral, vaginal (there’s another problem here, but that will have to wait until later if anyone is interested), vulval, breast, nipple, or big toe—all it wants to know is if you perceive it as sexual or not. If so, then your perception will activate your orgasm.
What confuses most women is that our orgasms have such a prominent physical manifestations; that is, vascular engorgement; muscular contractions, spasms, and relaxation; and increased heart and breathing rates. But, these are just that—manifestations of a mental activation. So, the opposite of what most women believe is true—without the mental there is no orgasm.
In case you would like proof, albeit limited to a small percentage of women, around 10 percent of women orgasm reliably and repeatedly through thought alone; that is, fantasy–completely without any physical stimulation—perception is all they need. These women aren’t exceptional; they’ve simply learned to use their minds to activate their orgasms. All women have this ability, since they were born with the instinctual drive, not to procreate, as society would lead you to believe, but to orgasm (another topic for later conversation). Remember, orgasms are the essence of our sexuality. So dear readers concentrate and learn to activate and you’ll soon be floating in a sea of orgasmic delight; provided, of course, you opt for female-centered sex. Enjoy.
In my last post, I told you that ninety-eight percent of women couldn’t accurately define their orgasms. Although all women could describe their orgasms, some in exquisite detail, most thought it was a physical phenomenon that resulted from some form of physical stimulation, while a small percentage, twenty-two percent, thought it was a reflex, similar to that of male ejaculation. Only two percent correctly identified their orgasms as perceptions.
To maintain control of our sexuality, society, especially the Fucksters, emphasizes the physicality of our sexual expressions knowing that they have little to do with our orgasmic potential. Our orgasms stem, not from physical stimulation, but from our mental perception. This simple discrepancy spells the difference between our sexual dissatisfaction and our true sexual satiation and fulfillment. It keeps us off-balance and constantly seeking what we feel is missing in our sexual encounters by pursuing the physical in lieu of the emotional.
Once women learn that there is only one form of orgasm, and that it’s a distinct mental perception, their orgasms shift from the classic male-defined mysterious, elusive, unpredictable and meaningless to a free-flowing orgasmic nirvana. Your orgasms are the essence of your sexuality; they’re your birthright, and your path to sexual satiation and fulfillment. All you need do is to reclaim them. So, what’s holding you back? Want to know more about your orgasms? Just leave a Yes or pose a specific question and we can go from there.
Awhile back, I made the statement that, as women, we have only one type of orgasm, not the many that the Fucksters dangle before us to keep us confused, off-balance, and fixed to our assigned vaginal destiny. Several of you asked for clarification. But, before I get there, I feel the need to expand a little, to see if we’re on the same page. Most women aren’t aware of the degree of misinformation they’re fed by these coital zealots—the various types of orgasms we supposedly can have is just an example.
Science or Manipulation?
Most women believe that what they read about their sexuality in current reports is scientific fact; but, in reality, it’s typically data manipulated to fit an agenda, an ideology, designed to control their sexuality. How so? They use paid volunteers, most frequently university students, who aren’t representative of women in general, yet the results are cited as though they apply to all women. They use carefully constructed questionnaires designed to yield the answers they want, rather than listening to what women have to say. They use only women who can orgasm with intercourse for their studies, so they can claim that fucking is how all women should have their orgasms. They deliberately refrain from talking about or investigating woman’s diverse sexuality, and present only information pertinent to intercourse. Where have you read anything about female-centered sex, other than here? They foster confusion by tossing out conflicting, often false, advice urging women to concentrate on intercourse, rather than on their natural born sexuality. And, they promote the feeling of sexual inadequacy among women (think of the various types of orgasms they propose) so that women will seek to comply with their copulatory mandate.
With permission, here are a couple of quotations from real-life, everyday women.
Beth said, “There are so many different types of orgasms that I don’t know what they are or how to get them. When I try, I get frustrated when they don’t happen, but the funny part is I keep trying.”
Caitlin wrote, “There must be something terribly wrong with me because I can’t cum when fucking like normal women do.”
These two comments epitomize what women have said over the many years I have worked and talked with them. Unawareness, confusion, and doubt are the weapons society uses to control our sexuality.
Ask yourself, what is an orgasm? Ninety-eight percent of over 11,000 women who participated couldn’t accurately define their orgasms. Can you? If so, please leave a comment so we can continue our dialogue and set the record straight.
Every so often I get a chuckle out of the ridiculous attempts of the fucksters (those researchers who have a vaginal fixation and a scientific hard-on) to reinvigorate their push for the mythical vaginal orgasm. It seems that they’ll stop at nothing to make us feel inadequate if we don’t have that particular orgasmic delight. And, the media’s obsession with these absurd Freudian clones and their asinine claims borders on insanity. So, for the millionth time, let’s set the record straight. The vaginal orgasm doesn’t exist—it’s strictly an invention, a gimmick to keep women fucking in search of their orgasmic nirvana, while giving men their gratification at woman’s expense. When boiled down, what the media reports isn’t science, but ideology masquerading as science.
See if this isn’t blatantly transparent. If we would only tell our daughter’s that their vaginas are a source of their orgasm, then they would be more likely to have vaginal orgasms. Oh, damn, I get it; make them believe a fallacy so they can go through life as a sexual neurotic, but at least they’ll be fucking.
But, that’s not all; let’s add the fear factor. If we fail to relate this vital piece of information to our daughters, we might be injuring their health and sexual potential. Wow, heavy, too bad the opposite is true—we would be stunting their sexual development and significantly injuring their health and well being if we taught them that nonsense.
And, there’s even more. We need to tell our daughters that if they don’t develop the ability to orgasm with vaginal stimulation alone, that they’ll have poor psychological functioning, lousy relationship quality, and impoverished sexual satisfaction. Hip boots aren’t high enough to wade through this bullshit.
In truth, and in fairness, so that I too am not an ideologue, all the various proposed varieties of our orgasms, such as the A spot, G spot, U spot, clitoral, breast, nipple, and big toe, etc. also don’t exist. We have only one kind of orgasm. If you’re interested in reading more about this, leave a comment, and I’ll post more next time.
It’s almost a daily occurrence that the words of some women reignite my passion and remind me of why I’ll never give up the fight for our right of sexual autonomy and fulfillment. For over 50 years, women have been sharing their inner most thoughts with me concerning their sexuality and yesterday was no exception. The ranks of women who feel sexually used, abused, and empty inside are legion, and they’re tired of being deemed secondary and subservient. I know because I’ve been there, but there’s another side, a greener, richer meadow just waiting to embrace us if we would only act.
When are we going to draw the line and say enough is enough, we’ve had it, and we’re not going to take it anymore? When are we going to revolt and demand our birthright of sexual satiation? When are we going to stop playing the role of man’s fuck toy and insist on our fulfillment through female-centered sex? I have and so have thousands of others, but what about you?
Oh, those words I mentioned that stirred my soul and reignited my passion are the words of a woman wanting to help other women, “So that other women do not have to endure and suffer in silence as they lead soul-crushing, sexless, and orgasm-less lives.” We need to listen to her and do all we can to end this suffering. Won’t you join us on the path to our sexual freedom and lend your voice so others will hear? I sincerely hope so.
Several weeks ago, on June 25th, I wrote a note about how important my orgasms are to my physical and emotional well being. Although I mentioned the astounding benefits that women can accrue from their daily, multiple orgasms, I didn’t list any of those benefits. Here, for your consumption, are some of the more notable.
Without getting into the scientific specifics, the physicochemical potion created by woman’s sequential orgasms promotes emotional attachment to her partner; improves her cardiovascular and pulmonary function; protects against heart attack and stroke; produces a more supple and radiant skin; enhances her sense of smell; strengthens her immune system; reduces the incidence of breast cancer; decreases stress; induces weight loss; beautifies her genital and reproductive systems; decreases or eliminates pain; induces a deeper and more restful sleep, reverses menopausal symptoms, and sends her to places unknown in this world. Do I need say more?