Last week a young woman wrote to me asking about her lack of orgasms with intercourse and wanted to know if female-centered sex could offer her the opportunity to find her sexual fulfillment absent from male-centered sex. She wanted and needed her orgasms. Her letter was so powerful that I decided to answer her and give her the possibilities by explaining a woman’s orgasmic potential. If you’re interested, you can find the statistics here.
Two weeks ago, I asked if there were any women who were aware of and understood their orgasmic potential. Only one woman found the invitation to share her experiences and beliefs worthwhile. To her, I extend my deep appreciation.
Today, I want to expand our conversation. When women fail to comprehend their orgasmic potential they tend to say they are dissatisfied, disenchanted, distrustful, despondent, depressed, frustrated, bitter, resentful, and unhappy with their lives. This genuine disappointment in themselves, and their partners, extends to all ages and in all relationships—single, cohabiting, married, divorced, widowed, straight, bi, and lesbian. It borders on being a sexual epidemic, eventually affecting two out of three women.
In my opinion, no woman should willingly suffer this pain and anxiety; especially when they have the power to change it to their benefit. If you’ve been there, if you’re one of the two, what did you do to change it? Or, have you changed it?
If you’re a woman who is dissatisfied with your sex life, you’re not alone. Seventy-five percent of women think male-centered sex (intercourse) leaves much to be desired, and many feel used. They tell me they’re tired of being treated as a sperm depository, and being left feeling empty and unfulfilled. They know something is wrong, but they don’t know what, so many of them go looking elsewhere for their sexual satisfaction. Society leaves them little choice.
The problem is, of course, multifaceted; but, the main reason for our sexual discontentment is our lack of knowledge of our natural sexuality. Most women have no idea that their sex drive is a powerful instinctual drive, not for reproduction as society would have them believe, but for orgasm. We’re highly sexual beings, driven unconsciously by the urge to be physically and emotional sexually satiated; yet, society makes us ashamed, and we feel guilty, if we attempt to answer that natural instinct.
Our orgasms are the essence of our sexuality; yet most women have no concept of their orgasmic potential. They have no idea of their orgasmic capabilities, or what their orgasms can bring to them and their partners and their relationships. Do you?
Are your orgasms a natural part of you? Do you feel they bring you complete physical and emotional satiation? Are you aware of their benefits? Won’t you take a minute and tell others what you feel? Knowledge is indeed power; so write a comment, and share your knowledge to help others understand.
What’s the difference between sexual satisfaction and sexual satiation? It’s a question many women ask when they make the paradigm shift to female-centered sex. To Marci, it was the difference between night and day.
Forty-six years ago Mary Jane Sherfey, a brilliant psychiatrist devoted to studying woman’s sexuality, told us that in reality, women are dissatisfied with sex, but that they will themselves to feel satisfied. She said that was what was expected of them and so they capitulated. They were unaware of their orgasmic potential and the fulfillment their orgasms would bring, so they settled for mundane sex, claiming satisfaction when it didn’t exist.
Marci had been there. If asked, she would say that she was satisfied with her sex life, with an occasional orgasm, with male-centered sex, but that she felt somehow incomplete, like something was missing from the encounters. What was missing, she found later, was bliss, the ecstasy of a flood of orgasms that female-centered sex provided—the physical and emotional satiation that yielded deep contentment and a feeling of fulfillment.
Sherfey was correct, given the opportunity to express their innate sexuality, women would see through the falsity of sexual satisfaction and demand their rightful sexual satiation. Women are, Sherfey said, truly orgasmically insatiable. Marci and thousands of other women attest to that. What about you?