Esybron Institute

[sassy]

Is there anyone else who feels that she is being used? I just don't see the draw of being fucked all the time. It sure is not that pleasant and I resent it that he always gets his rocks off and I get nothing but the boredom of in and out. I read somewhere that most women can't orgasm with intercourse and I sure can see why. I can't imagine it being a part of me, of my essence as a woman. I feel so used, just an object to be had when he wants it. I can't seem to talk about it with my friends, as they seem all happy and cuddly about it. This is driving me nuts, am I some kind of freak? I don't know how much longer I can keep this bottled up inside me so I ask, is there anyone else?

[yampyress]

I sure can empathize with you Sassy as I feel about the same. I devour men with my pussy, leaving them limp and dripping, but it's not the sex I really enjoy. I love to be eaten, to feel the hot rough tongue lapping my clit, trying to find its way into my cunt, but never quite making it. Fucking is so passe. It's not only boring, all that thrashing around just so he can get off. I do it, but let's face it, I'd rather go to the movies if he's not going down on me. I suck up orgasms. As many as I can get, over and over and let him fend for himself. So my dear, take heart, you certainly aren't alone in your feelings----fucking is not enjoyable----just tolerable.

[bettyb]

I too do not find intercourse that fulfilling and wonder what all the fess is about. It's something we must do as wives whether we want to or not. It's part of our marriage vows and a duty we have to fulfill. When he wants it, I give it to him, so I shouldn't complain if I don't find it enjoyable physically. We're not being used if it's our responsibility to satisfy him.

[femmetrish]

I do agree with you, bettyb and the others that fucking is very unsatisfying in many marriages; certainly in mine it was. My body was on call 24/7, whenever he felt the need for release or got himself aroused and wanted some physical gratification to accompany his fantasies.

There was no reciprocity or attempt to learn how to make my physical gratification part of the sex act. For satisfying sex that culminates in an orgasm, I need loving foreplay and direct clitoral contact. Asking for it was "taken", as an insult to his manhood and often would result in his becoming overly physical. Yes, gratifying sex is part of the marriage agreement, but the responsibility to sexually met the needs of your partner applies equally to the husband.

I wanted him to cherish and nurture my body, not just use it, as a receptacle to release his sexual tension.

[Esybron]

Welcome femmetrish, so happy to have you with us. Your comment is especially touching for it could be a page taken directly from my life. For years I fought the dissatisfaction of sex-on-call just for his gratification, but when we discovered the female sex paradigm and made the switch from male-centered sex (intercourse as the center piece) to female-centered sex (extended cunnilingus as the main course), the world changed. You are so right, to cherish and nurture, to love and respect are essentials for us as women, but they rarely ever, if at all, come from the male sex paradigm.

We discuss this in detail in our upcoming book on The Female Sex Paradigm, which we in the final stages of editing.

Again, thanks for joining us and for sharing your voice.

Sybil